Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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