"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
