Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
