why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
