You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
