I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
