why didn't you poke me back
only if we run a train.
done.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
