girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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