Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
