My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
