My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
