just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I understand Curling. That high.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
