I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
