those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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