I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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