I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
