Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
