don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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