did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
how does that bad decision feel?
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