My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
