benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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