I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
