I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
