im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I had to cum in my sink.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
