Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
What a dumb baby whore.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
