i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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