You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
