she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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