Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
