so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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