I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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