yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
