This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How's work?
Spinning.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
