u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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