:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
