mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
