I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
