I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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