sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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