A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
