she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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