What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
