She's JV to your varsity
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
