Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
