The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
