she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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