I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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