Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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