So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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