6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
