imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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